


Two Clean Freaks Walk into a Bar...

by fromstarlighttodust



Series: Love and Bleach [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: And I'm not sorry, Bottom Eren Yeager, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Levi is in love because of sparkling floors, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Why Did I Write This?, eren is a clean freak, honestly, just like levi, oh yeah, someone asked into the void for it and I decided to deliver, this is cute af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:12:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18736969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromstarlighttodust/pseuds/fromstarlighttodust
Summary: Eren is obsessed with cleanliness. After spending years in the refugee slums, necessity became habit. He never thought he would find someone who would not only understand his need to keep everything clean, but admire him for it, let alone that someone to be his life long idol, Captain Levi.





	Two Clean Freaks Walk into a Bar...

Eren didn’t really know why, but he knew it had started some time after the fall of Shingashina. He knew his mother would have loved this side of him, but he was decently sure that it was a product of seeing the sickness spread through the slums that the refugees had been corralled into after Wall Maria fell. With quarters being as tight as they were, if one person got sick everyone in the immediate area was likely to fall ill in a short period of time. With the lack of proper medical care for the refugees, it was a death sentence… Unless you cleaned your little area rigorously, as Eren found out. While Mikasa protected them from the thugs that sprouted up in the rough areas the refugees were forced into and Armin used his innocent looks to bargain more food for the three of them, Eren cleaned. He cleaned and cleaned and cleaned until his fingers bled from the work because there was no way in hell he was going to watch Mikasa and Armin die a slow painful death from some perfectly preventable sickness. After some time, it became second nature to him. Everything had to be perfectly clean before he could rest.

The habit didn’t lessen when they three of them joined the military. The other boys in the barracks teased him relentlessly as Eren washed his sheets for the fifth time that week. It wasn’t his fault that Jean was his bunk mate and insisted on tracking dirt onto his cot as the horse faced bastard climbed the ladder to his bunk. There was no way that Eren was going to sleep on dirty sheets. They scoffed at him as Eren cleaned the floors until they shined because they tracked mud in from the training grounds, despite the fact that Eren had told them to clean their boots off before they came into the barracks. They laughed at him as he polished the wood of his cot until it sparkled. They rolled his eyes when Eren spent his nights washing his clothes so they were free of any speck of dirt the next day. Most of his cleaning took place at night, into the wee hours of the morning. It wasn’t like he would be able to sleep with all that filth left unattended anyway.

At least Mikasa and Armin were sympathetic and non judgemental. Armin tried to stand up for him, telling the other boys to leave him alone while he cleaned. Mikasa had her uncanny ability to make just about anyone shut their mouth as soon as she laid eyes on them. They knew where he picked up his… Well, he supposed at this point it was an obsession with cleanliness, and didn’t blame him for it for a second. Now there wasn’t such a need, illness didn’t run rampant in the barracks, but Eren’s brain couldn’t stop whispering  _ what if _ .  _ What if he stopped and someone got that bone deep, rattling cough he had watched people die from in the slums? It would be his fault. He knew how to prevent it from happening.  _ So he cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. So what if the others judged him for it. At least they wouldn’t die.

After the trial and Eren was put into the care of Captain Levi and the Survey Corps he almost lost his composure at being told he was being shipped out to an old castle. An old castle that hadn’t been used in  _ years _ . Just the thought of the filth he would be subject to there sent shivers down his spine. He hoped, at least, he would be granted enough time to clean the basement where he would be sleeping. There was no way that he could survive there otherwise. Captain Levi would grant him a few hours to clean, right? He hoped so. A few hours would be woefully inadequate, but it would at least be a start and he could continue at night like he used to in the barracks when there was no one to snicker at him.

When they got there, the overgrown yard was enough to make Eren tremble with disgust. If the exterior was any indication, his work would be cut out for him. To his immense shock, Captain Levi sounded just as horrified as Eren felt upon their arrival. As the rest of the special ops squad groaned and dragged their feet, Eren immediately set to work. He had been granted permission to start in his basement, and then told to go immediately to the upper floors and work on those. Once the basement was to his standards, he started to head up the stairs, only to be met by Petra.

“You’ve been down here this whole time?” Petra asked, surprised.

“Ah, yes. I’m heading to the upper floors now,” Eren said stiffly.

“Well, let’s see what you’ve done down here first,” Petra sighed. “The Captain can be very… Exacting. He has some stiff standards.”

Eren raised his eyebrows, but obediently followed Petra back down to the basement. There was no way that  _ his _ cleaning wouldn’t be up to anyone’s standards. At this point, he was relatively certain of his abilities in the cleanliness department.

Lost in his thoughts, Eren almost walked straight into Petra, who had frozen in the doorway. “Is something wrong?” Eren asked, suddenly nervous.

“You did this? Alone?” Petra gasped out.

“Yes?” Eren blinked over her shoulder, taking in his pristine room.

“Oh no,” she groaned. “Not another one.”

“What?” Eren furrowed his brow.

“I would  _ eat _ off this floor,” Petra whispered. “God, just go do the upper floor.”

Eren nodded, confusion filling him, but he followed the order and headed off to clean upstairs. It took the majority of the day, but finally he was satisfied with the state of the rooms he had been tasked with. When he turned around to go downstairs and tell Captain Levi he had finished, he found the entirety of the rest of the squad standing in the doorway with various levels of shock on their faces.

“What did I tell you?” Petra said woefully to the other squad members.

“How can there be another one,” Eld lamented. “Wasn’t one enough?”

“And now that there is more than one, how did we get saddled with both?” Gunther agreed.

“We can’t let Captain Levi see this,” Oluo said ominously. “We would never hear the end of it and god knows what he would do.”

“Make cleanliness babies,” Gunther whispered, terror in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Eren finally cracked. “I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?”

“Our lives are over,” Eld groaned.

“What’s all this about?” The sharp voice of the Captain resounded from behind the squad and Eren was certain that if it had been a cartoon, he would have seen puffs of smoke in their wakes as the squad squeaked apologies and took off to continue their own tasks.

“Uh,” Eren chewed on his lip as Captain Levi slowly stepped into the room he had just completed, painfully aware that he had just been abandoned to answer the Captain’s question. A question he could honestly say he had no idea how to answer. “I honestly don’t know what it was about?”

Levi’s eyebrows shot up as he looked around. “The squad helped you with this?”

“No, Sir,” Eren said stiffly. “They just showed up and stared at me while saying odd things.”

Levi ran his fingers under the windowsill before rubbing his them together, a look that might have been wonder if Eren hadn’t known better on his commanding officer’s face. He walked around, running his fingers over different objects, inspecting corners, studying grout before he finally stopped, his back to Eren.

The quietest words Eren had ever heard escaped his Captain’s mouth, and Eren was 100% positive he hadn’t been meant to hear it once the reverent whisper hit his ears. “Fucking Gods, it’s perfect, marry me.”

It took all of two seconds for Eren to decide that he wasn’t going to even approach the fact that he had, in fact, heard a marriage proposal from his Captain over his cleaning skills. The very same Captain he had only met a few days ago. The same one who had beat the living hell out of him in front of an entire courtroom. Proposing. Over cleaning. Nope, not going to touch that with a ten foot pole, for his own health. “Sir, is it up to your standard?” He asked, like he hadn’t just heard the words ‘it’s perfect’.

Captain Levi seemed to jolt at the sound of Eren’s voice. Stiffly, he nodded. “It is adequate, cadet. You may go and assist Eld with his floor until sundown. Then it’s dinner time.”

Eren nodded. “Thank you, Sir.”

Once he made it downstairs and found Eld, he couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his mouth at the shoddy work he was faced with. “I guess… I’ll just go over everything?”

Eld sent him a dirty look. “Are you here to judge my work?”

“No, Captain Levi told me to help you,” Eren held up his hands innocently.

After a moment, Eld’s shoulders slumped and he nodded. “Thanks, Eren.”

Eren nodded and got to work, fixing Eld’s cleaning. After a while of working in silence, Eren spoke up. “So… The Captain has a thing for cleanliness?”

Eld let out a bark of laughter. “Didn’t he say anything to you upstairs?”

Eren’s face turned bright red and he immediately turned his back to Eld, scrubbing between the bricks of the floor a little faster. “He said my work was adequate,” he mumbled finally.

“No corrections?” Eld asked.

Eren shook his head. “No.”

“Yeah, that’s never happened before,” Eld replied. “There are always corrections.”

Eren looked thoughtfully towards the stairs, where he had left Captain Levi. “So… He’s a stickler for cleaning.”

“You could say that,” Eld muttered sarcastically. “People say that he grew up in the underground. If it’s true, that’s probably why.”

Eren hummed softly. “I learned to clean in the refugee slums, so I understand.”

Eld nodded and went to go back to mopping. Eren watched him for a second before shaking his head. “No, let me show you. You’re missing all the edges.”

Eld sighed again, but willingly handed over the mop. “Alright, show away.”

“Look, if you make a swiping motion like you were, look how much of the corners I didn’t just hit, see?” Eren showed Eld what he had been doing. “But if you make a shape more like this…” Eren demonstrated the proper way to mop with Eld looking on.

When Eld took over again, Eren smiled warmly. “That’s so much better already!”

Eren felt his back stiffen as quiet words floated over from the door. Words that Eren was certain he wouldn’t have heard had he still be over near Eld. More words that he was sure he wasn’t meant to hear. The Captain’s voice, drifting ever so softly. “Yes, you show him, you gorgeous son of a bitch. God what I would give…”

_ Give?? Give to what??? _ Eren’s mind screamed, but he threw himself back into his scrubbing, refusing to acknowledge the presence he wasn’t supposed to know was there.

That evening, after dinner, Captain Levi sent everyone but Eren and Eld to reclean what they had done. Eren nervously retreated to his basement when he felt the Captain’s eyes lingering on him. Was every day going to be this awkward? He was glad that someone finally,  _ finally _ appreciated his cleaning, but the comments were a bit much. Was it really that impressive?

His mind drifted back to the job that Eld had done. Okay, he could understand why Levi reacted the way he had. If he was anything like Eren, someone cleaning as well as him would be awfully attractive. But still, it was a bit early for marriage proposals. Eren squealed, burying his face into his pillow. No, there was no way that Captain Levi was  _ serious _ . It was probably just impressed and said something dumb. Yes. That had to be it. After some time, the Captain would get used to his cleaning skills, the novelty would wear off and the comments would vanish. With that thought, Eren forced himself to sleep.

 

``~`**`~``

 

It didn’t get better, though. As weeks passed Eren kept out cleaning the rest of the squad and Levi kept muttering his praises when he thought no one could hear him. At this point, Eren had heard that he was perfect seventeen times, twenty six marriage proposals, nineteen proclamations of love, and several mentions of things Levi wanted to do with his dick and Eren’s ass--and that’s only what he managed to hear. The sexual ones probably would have been more disturbing if Eren wasn’t used to the breathed comments by the time they started to come. Instead, he struggled to fight down a blush whenever Levi muttered about taking Eren on the freshly cleaned desk and then making him clean it again and touched himself to the thought late at night.

There wasn’t any denying it, Captain Levi was an attractive man and Eren couldn’t say he loathed the attention he was receiving. Not to mention that he had idolized the man for as long as he could remember. Having finally witnessed the Captain’s cleaning, as well, Eren couldn’t help but understand why the man always muttered about things. And it was quite nice to be understood. Even Armin and Mikasa, who didn’t judge him in the slightest, didn’t quite understand. Somehow, his status as a monster seemed less important when everyone was dazzled by his sparkling floors.

It wasn’t until a few months after moving to the castle that Eren finally cracked. He and Levi were cleaning a room together and he heard it again. The nearly silent whispers. “Fuck, just marry me already…”

“I accept,” Eren replied, sitting up and pulling down the mask on his face.

Levi startled. “What?”

“I said, I accept,” Eren said, with confidence he didn’t actually feel. He  _ knew _ he wasn’t supposed to hear the whispers, but enough was enough.

“Accept what?” Levi glared, but Eren could see the tips of his ears turning red. Levi knew he was getting called out.

“Marrying you,” Eren crossed his arms. “You’ve asked me enough times at this point. Might as well give you an answer.”

“What the fuck,” Levi bit out, but Eren could see the sheer panic in the older man’s eyes.

“You just asked me to marry you. Again. That’s like the thirtieth time. I get it. You love me, want to marry me and want to fuck me because I know how to clean a room,” Eren huffed. Honestly, he was tired of it. He just wanted to get this out in the open and stop having to blush like an idiot every time he overheard his captain.

“You-- I-- What,” Levi stuttered.

“I have good hearing,” Eren cut in.

Levi sunk his face into his hand. “You’ve heard me this whole time?”

“Yes,” Eren confirmed.

Levi heaved a giant sigh. “You can report me for sexual harassment. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. I never meant for you to even hear it.”

Eren rolled his eyes. “Or… You could fuck me on that sparkling table until I have to polish it again.”

Levi’s head shot up. “Excuse me?”

For the first time, Eren’s confident act cracked. “Did… Did you not m-mean it?”

Levi stared at him for a few moments before he nodded at the table Eren had mentioned. “Get on.”

“Yes, Sir,” Eren scrambled to his feet and bent over the table how he assumed Levi would want him.

“No, idiot,” Levi muttered and physically turned Eren around so they were facing each other. Eren blinked at Levi for a few seconds before the older leaned in and kissed him. Levi’s lips were chapped and rough and the kiss wasn’t gentle, but there was something tender about it that made Eren’s heart swell. When they pulled apart, Eren could almost liken the look on Levi’s face to nervous. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes, Sir,” Eren whispered.

“No,” Levi shook his head. “No ‘sir’, no ‘captain’. This is already an abuse of power. If you want this, I’m just Levi until it’s over.”

Eren nodded dumbly. “Yes, Levi. I want this.”

Levi nodded and leaned forward, kissing Eren deeply again. Somewhere along the line, Levi’s hands divested Eren of his pants and pushed his shirt up to pool around his neck as their kisses turned frantic. As Eren ground frantically against Levi’s hip, the older pulled back panting.

“Oil, fuck, we need oil,” Levi gasped out.

“Shit,” Eren hissed.

Levi looked around, an almost crazed look in his eye before he pushed Eren to lay flat against the table. “Don’t move a muscle. I’ll be right back.”

“Gods, just do it without,” Eren grabbed in vain at Levi’s arms.

“Fuck no,” Levi managed an at least halfway convincing glare. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’ve already made you bleed once.”

Eren bit his lip. “Wait! In my pants!” 

Levi sent him an odd look before rifling through Eren’s pockets and producing a vial of oil. “And why do you have this?”

“I was going to oil my gear after we finished cleaning,” Eren said. “I just… forgot I had it for a second.”

Levi let out a low huff of breath that Eren was almost certain was a laugh before his every thought was kissed away again. Eren couldn’t help the little whine he made as Levi pushed a finger into his virgin hole. Levi’s hand froze, but he kissed Eren with more force for a few seconds before pulling back.

“Relax,” he whispered, trailing kisses down Eren’s neck and wiggling his finger in further as he felt the muscles soften.

It wasn’t until Levi had three fingers inside Eren, prodding and stretching him, Eren a panting and moaning mess that the brunette spoke up. “It o-occurs to… to me… t-that--ngh--t-this is a… p-public room.” 

When Levi pulled back he had an almost feral grin on his face. “Yes, yes it is. And if anyone walks through that door they will see just how filthy we are being.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to object when Levi hit something inside him that sent him  _ reeling _ with a loud moan. Levi pulled his fingers out and pushed his own pants down to mid thigh. Slicking himself with some more of th the oil, Levi lined up and pushed into Eren, who hissed in response, his eyes squeezed shut.

Arms quivering slightly from where they braced him on either side of Eren, Levi stilled as he bottomed out. “Hey, come on, look at me,” Levi whispered, leaning forward to press kisses to Eren’s chest.

Eren slowly wrenched his eyes open and met Levi’s gaze. The raven’s mouth fell open as he read the raw emotion swirling in those eyes. There was the slightest edge of pain, but that wasn’t really avoidable. No, what hit Levi was the undeniable look of someone who had no idea what they were doing, someone with the blanket innocence of a first time. He almost pulled out, if not for Eren’s ankles linking at the small of his back and pushing him deeper.

“You’re--You…” Levi gasped out as pleasure dulled his brain. “Never before.”

Eren blinked at him for a few second, deciphering his words before shaking his head. “N-no one w-wanted to bang the c-clean freak. T-though I w-was weird,” Eren muttered, his voice shaking. 

“Fuck,” Levi hissed out, but stretched up and pressed the gentlest kiss he could manage to Eren’s lips before giving the most careful roll of his hips that he’d ever accomplished. Eren rewarded his efforts with a moan and soon they were moving together, Eren pushing up to meet Levi’s increasingly desperate thrusts.

With Eren whining and moaning beneath him, Levi leaned back and took in Eren’s sweat soaked appearance, his cock weeping pearly drops onto his abdomen. Wrapping a hand around Eren, stroking in time with his thrusts, Levi spoke. “Look at you… Mmmn, being so fucking--ahh--dirty after all our effort to clean.”

Eren’s moans grew in volume as Levi pumped him, and with a few particularly well aimed thrusts, he was cumming all over himself. Levi thrust a few more times before he pulled out and finished over Eren’s stomach, their releases mixing.

Eren’s thighs quivered as he collapsed on the table, Levi arching to rest his forehead against an unsoiled spot of Eren’s chest as they both caught their breath.

“Wow,” Eren whispered.

“Mhm,” Levi grunted. Straightening up and fixing his pants, Levi looked around. “Okay. We both need showers, but first, this table needs to be cleaned.”

Eren laughed hoarsely. “It’s like you read my mind. Pass me my underwear, I can’t leave all this cum on me.”

“That’s disgusting,” Levi wrinkled his nose as Eren wiped the cum off of himself with his own underwear.

“Got any better ideas?” Eren shot back. “It’s not like I’m going to put them on now.”

“Laundry tonight,” Levi replied, eyeing the underwear.

“I’m not an  _ animal _ ,” Eren looked horrified at the insinuation that he  _ wouldn’t  _ wash his clothes after what they just did.

“I fucking love you,” Levi blurted.

Eren paused, eyeing Levi for a few seconds before his face broke into a smile. “I love you, too.”

Levi let a small, genuine smile quirk his lips as he helped Eren stand and put his pants back on before cleaning down the table again himself, leaving Eren to limp to the showers to clean up and change.

Meeting the brunette as he was coming out in a clean uniform, Levi stared up at Eren. “So…”

“Yes, Sir?” Eren stood with his back, ramrod straight. Levi couldn’t help but think that it probably uncomfortable for the other at the moment.

“You didn’t accept anything yet, you got it?” Levi finally choked out.

“What?” Eren looked confused for a second before the color drained from his face.

“No, stop thinking whatever idiocy you’re thinking. I’m going to fucking propose correctly and if you’re going to accept, it’s not going to be out of frustration, got it?” Levi crossed his arms.

Eren burst out laughing. “Sir, yes, sir.” With a salute he made his way down the hallway towards the dining hall. Levi allowed himself one last small smile at the retreating figure before his face slipped back into his blank expression and he went to get himself cleaned up.


End file.
